i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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