I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
