The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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