Can Purell be used as lube?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
