in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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