Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
