At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
