so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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