I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
