what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
