real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
