so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
