I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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