Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
