after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
