just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
