Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
