he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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