I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
