So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
