why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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