Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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