Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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