it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
