I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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