oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
