I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
