you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
