Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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