Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
