like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
