Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
