and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
