He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
