don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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