Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
