I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
