Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
