I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
