my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
