Pants 0. Shit 1.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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