yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
