Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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