I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Shame - the story of my life.
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