Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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