if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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