I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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