69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
