I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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