I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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