I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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