Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
